Boots? Required Style? Optional Mud? Mandatory
Shirt? Button-up, Stripes optional - but impressive
Belt? Just take a look at the patrons in the BBQ shack
Only an enlightened few around here are keeping it trim
Misfit loners eating pig salads instead of jumbo sandwich plates
Who jog three miles rather than drink three beers after work
Trousers? Wranglers -boot-cut; or Carharts for the big dogs
Most times a round relief resides in one of the posterior pockets
Optional - Work pants which match a shirt with your name on it
Hair styles? Oh my goodness! Such wide variety on display
Neat National Guard high and tight, and your basic car salesman cuts
Scruffy, glassy eyed buckaroos sporting 1980's mullets; or worse
Dude who haven't stepped inside a barbershop since Kurt Cobain died
Old geezers with more hair on the inside of the ear than on the head
Some twenty-something year homey in sweatpants - an 18 inch horse mane
Swishing out the opening in the back of his Realtree camouflage crown
Caps? Mandatory of course! Unless your are a salesman or a banker
Mangled straw Stetson’s allowed but only if you ride in the rodeo
Over to State University or up the boot-heel or else you farm big plots
And in such case it is sometimes customary to have the audacity to flaunt
A Texas-sized set of ass-kickin’ steer horns mounted on the front bumper
Of your badly mud caked - mandatory - GM Ford or Dodge pick-up truck
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